Madness

I'm not a big fan of holding in my emotions. I remember very vividly what happened next if I were to do so in my younger years.

I got violent. I would physically retaliate and end up making myself look bad for fighting back.

And while I believe that I have already moved on from all those, it wasn't until a bus ride home that I started realizing just how much pent-up emotions I was keeping. So much that I started welling up if it hadn't been for the public setting.I wonder how long I've been able to do this. How much is in me? What could have been done to keep it from affecting me?

I can understand the need to forget, but when something just hits a nerve, the emotions... they just crash down.

Sometimes, I'm not even hit with anything. It's just there.

And while it's there, I can't help but consider myself as a bad person for being this way. For holding in such emotions, letting them out so viciously, and having them affect the way I see and interact with others.

I can be mad, I want to be mad, but it's very frustrating to think that nothing will come out of it.

I'm likely to never get out of this spiral that somehow I created. Who knows when I'll go back in here again? It will just be there to remind me that I, too, can feel very strongly about something.

So, to everyone, please cut yourself some slack. Also to everyone, to feel things is okay. Whether it's a strong negative or positive feeling, we're all a lot more normal when we're doing that.