Prom shoes that fit me

 

                High school wasn’t a fun time most of the time. And like most high school girls, I had my insecurities. The main one being my huge feet.

 

                I hated them. I hated how long they were, how long my toes looked, and especially hated it because I never got to wear the shoes I liked because their biggest sizes were always a millimeter or two short. It came to a point that I even hated wearing Converse sneakers because I felt like I was wearing those long clown shoes.

 

The feeling was even worse when it came to my first high school prom. 

                My mom was always aware of this, being someone who always had to go with me whenever we went shopping. Those shopping trips were seldom for the more dressy shoes. Looking back, we also never really went shopping for my prom shoes. But looking at it now, it could have been because my mom had already pulled a few strings already.

 

                I don’t remember when I first met Tita Alice. I never even knew I had a Tita Alice. The way mom introduced me to her was by showing a pair of shoes that she told me I’d wear for prom. They were silver, bedazzled, stiletto-y. They were a pair of shoes that my current self would probably not think to wear, but it made high school me giddy ball of mess when she first saw them.

 

They fit my feet. They made my most hated physical feature look good. Bedazzles and all. Not to mention it made me stand at a good five foot nine inches or so.

 

When I finally met Tita Alice, the first thing I noticed was that she stood a good 3 to 5 inches taller than me (I was probably five foot four inches at the time). She only ever came to say hi to my lola then, whom, I found out only after setting foot in the Metro, is a very close relative from her family in Batangas. She was very accommodating to us and treated us to only good things.

 

As I’m typing this, it’s been two days since Tita Alice passed away. The last time I saw her was on 2019. She was bed-ridden that time and never went out since then. I guess she had been ready for quarantine more than anyone.

 

She has 3 wonderful children, my cousins, and 2 adorable grandkids. One of them calls me Wasp, referencing one of my cosplays.

 

I hope she knows that she made an insecure high schooler feel great about her, well, insecurity. And that now she prefers the comfort of Converse sneakers more then any other brand of sneakers.

 

She’s in a better place now. I have a feeling that those years in bed have already prepared her for her welcoming into heaven anyway.

 

But still, fuck cancer.