Chasing something you can't see and Why It's okay to be tired

by @gorkiegork on IG

I've come to terms with everything that's been happening in my life lately. It's not the best things that, but not the worst either.

In a previous blog, I mentioned how an anxiety attack ultimately led to my seeking for something more than just the dream that my 16-year-old self had conjured up in her head. Because really, if she saw 25-year-old her, she'd be proud of where she is, who she's become, and what she's achieved.

She'll be happy to know that she's met a lot of great people, worked with the most creative minds and has been inspiring them as well (I mean, I think I'm inspiring people).

Honestly, I can say that she's having a good run. Literally. She's running after so many things all at the same time (an analogy to all the projects that she's handling).

Fast forward to now, to me, I'm still running towards my goals; whether it's getting a concept approved or simply making yet another great convention memory.

As I write this, I start thinking about what I want to do next without forgetting to plan further. I already have my passions. And apart from a thriving geek life, I'm hoping to find something that could benefit my well-being.

Yes. It's not the money, not the people, but my well-being that I'm looking out for in this.

What is it that I will be most proud of in the next 10 years? What is it that I'll be doing in the next 10 years after leaving something of great impact behind?

This is basically me asking: What am I looking for?

There are multiple roads ahead of me and most of them may not even be the right one. I know what I should do, but I don't know what to do after that. And with my experience of jumping headfirst into many things, I'd rather that this time, I have a solid foundation to work with.

Perhaps I need a more fulfilling vocation? A better purpose to stay creative?

But no, what I'm looking for and in need of right now is a better direction.

Never mind wanting to do all the things that I want, go to all the places that I want, or try everything at least once. Where do I go? What do I try now? And most importantly, where do I start?