My 2018 dates
I'm pretty sure that when you read "dates," you thought that I meant the guys I went out on a date with. Sorry. That's not the case here.
It's December 12 when I decided to write this. I had thought to post it as a status on my personal Facebook account, but in the end thought that I'd have more freedom and less anxiety if I posted it here.
What was 2018 like for me? In a word... I don't know. 2018 for me was full of everything and nothing at the same time. And it doesn't help when I'm the type of person who remembers dates to some, if not all, of the most pivotal moments of my life.
Here are the dates as I remember. And take note, I did not mark these in my calendar or whatever. I did have to look at my calendar to make sure I got the dates right though.
January 8: I was informed that I'd get laid off from the agency that I thought I'd spend at least 2 or 3 years with. it hit me. Hard. This was my third agency job. I got fired from my first one but was absorbed into its sister digital agency. I didn't like being there since I knew what the people were like. And I didn't have the best boss at the time.
I was told about it separately by the CEO and ECD. It was funny since the ECD said "Why didn't you wait for me?! I thought we'd do it together?!" thinking that I wouldn't hear.
I thought there was no way but down then. But what kept me going was the idea that better me than my co-writer. It was then that I thought that writing resignation letters felt like a breeze.
January 8 to March 2: Job hunting while I waiting for my last day in the that agency.
February 10 to 11: I hosted GameCon PH. It was the first real hosting gig I had. I'm happy that the person who appointed me liked the way I hosted. I'm happy to be able to do it again next year, at a bigger venue, with more people. That means more chances of getting hosting gigs in between my day job.
March 2: I resigned from my agency.
March 4 to 10: I just... didn't want to do anything. I laid my yoga mat out on the floor of my room and just laid there in a sports bra because it was so hot. I made sure to point the electric fan at me so I at least don't get an asthma from the heat and sweat too much. It made me doze off every now and then.
March 11 to 28: Job hunting is back online. I went to interviews and had phone interviews. That's what happened throughout my March. I accepted the job of one of these agencies.
March 25: I attended CauseCon. A convention that raised funds for the LoveYourself campaign. It was small, but the efforts to have it held made a huge impact. It was where I made new friends from the Metro Manila cosplay community. I sang my heart out to Hamilton songs. I teared up from too much laughing.
It was the happiest I've been since 2018 began.
April 2 to May 4: I started work in the agency I accepted the job offer from my March job hunting. Throughout my stay there, I felt how badly managed it was, and how the team behind it have been very shady when it came down to expenses. It was a way for me to be able to earn cash during the months. I still went to different job interviews while I was there.
I was a mess. I was so lost and confused that I didn't even know what to say about everything. I tweeted about it and one of my friends from Zamboanga comforted me. He told me to keep fighting. He told me that there are a lot of people who believed that I could do what I want. It made me cry.
April something: It was another convention. It helped me go through what I was feeling since the interview breakdown. People were telling me to suit up as Wasp but I told them that my costume wasn't done yet. I met a new friend and we ditched the others to by Dairy Queen Ice Cream Sandwiches. The day ended with more Dairy Queen with another friend.
May 4: I left my then, poorly-managed agency. That made it the 4th agency I left in less than two years of being in the industry, and the 5th job I had since being based in Metro Manila. I did, however, get to experience a very great workshop with THE Mark Meily.
May 7: I just felt like doing nothing. It was a day before I had to start at my new agency. It made me realize that I never really had a decent break in between all the lay-offs, dismissals, and resignations.
I mean, I do get to go home every now and then. But sometimes I wish I could go on a trip by myself, for myself.
May 8: I started work at my new agency. And I loved it. I had the mentor I always hoped to have. I had people around me that, despite being very different, just worked.
June 8 to 10: ToyCon 2018. It was great. I debuted my Wasp costume, which you can see on my Twitter and Instagram (@BernAzcarraga). I met up once more with the people I met at CauseCon.
June 29: I appeared in my first cosplay gig as Wasp. It was a special advanced screening for Ant-man and The wasp. I was in guests' photos, but sadly, no would be able to recognize me with that helmet on.
June 30: SuperShow 7 happened! I've been a Kpop fan since 2008 and SuJu is definitely one of the groups I've been following since then. I went with my best friend, and this had been a first concert for the both of us. It was so great. The arena was filled. You barely saw bald spots in the seats.
I also had a cosplay gig on that day. Thankfully, it was held in almost the same venue.
July something: I had my first radio ad produced. It was for Starbucks Philippines' summer drinks.
July 23: My first pitch without the help of the big bosses. Though we didn't get it, it was rather heavy to be presenting without the presence of the boss. It was a great learning experience either way.
July 29: Day 3 of Asiapop Comicon. A friend from Zamboanga made it, which made it more fun. We had a karaoke party with a friend that was migrating to Ohio soon. She's having a great life there.
August 11 to 12: I went on a weekend trip to Laguna with my new-found cosplay friends. We played games, ate good food, basked in great presence. I remember doing a little work while I was there but it wasn't something that took away the fun. In fact, everyone got a kick out of stressed-out Berna. I also resulted to having a drink, which made me red. It was probably because I hadn't had a drink in a long time. Or that my friend's mix was something my body wasn't used to.
August something: My boss tells me that he's resigning. He left with good intentions, and I respect that. But deep inside, I was very very very terrified. I wasn't because I would be left under the care of someone else, but because I had finally gotten the mentor that I knew I needed.
I'll never forget what he told me though, that I'm "a great writer." I nearly cried when he said that, and if I did, the both of us wouldn't be able to leave the conference room for a while.
I don't remember when his last day was. All I remember is that it was a Tuesday and that he didn't even come in on those last two days.
September 1: A joint birthday party was held by two cosplay friends. It was a potluck and everyone contributed. It felt like ages since we all hung out. The best and funniest part? Everyone wasn't in cosplay. We all see each other in conventions so much that we're not so used to hanging out in our normie selves. It was a great change. Good food, good conversations, good people. We even video-called the friend who migrated to Ohio. She got a kick out of everyone there.
I also met a new friend. She works for production and told me that she loved talking to me. I was actually just sharing stories I got from friends. I think I'm a boring person and it's my friends that make up most of the fun parts of my life.
September 11(?): My boss tells me that things were going to change. In business, when money doesn't come in, the higher-ups do whatever they can for the benefit of everyone. In this case, the best decision was to let go of a few people. It was heavy during those days until they had to go.
September 29 to 30: Cosplay Mania. This particular convention has a special place in my heart. It was my first one since arriving in the Metro in 2015. And my best friend's when she arrived in 2016. I sang my heart out to anime OSTs until I couldn't talk anymore. I met up with friends who are based in Cebu, whose first convention also happens to be Cosmania in 2015.
I was probably everywhere. I wanted to meet up with old friends, talk to my new friends, and party like the weab that I am. Conventions, I guess, are my safe haven.
October 11 to 15: I went home to help with KLive Zamboanga preparations, and host it as well. It was great dancing and mingling with one of my first hobby groups. And it was greater that I could dance with my old group after more than 3 years.
Sadly, October 15 was also the last day of the agency's laid-off employees. I couldn't even say goodbye to most of them.
October 27 to 28: I never thought I'd be able to stay in a lavish apartment, but I did. It was an outing with Cosplay Network Ph. But more than just having fun, we talked about plans for the group, what's going on in the community, and what we wanted to do.
I also guested in cosplay for a birthday party. It was great. I love kids and there was one in particular who wanted to take me everywhere with him.
November 8: I got regularized. I'm weird because I marked the date as "Eyy" in my phone. Who does that?
November 17: Four people is the best number to start when playing tabletop games. And on this day, we reached that capacity. We played a total of 6 games, which probably messed with out mental stamina but who cares?
November 24: Ragnafest 2018. I co-hosted the cosplay portion of the event. It was the first one I've done in front of a bigger, but more condensed audience.
November 29: One of the agency's two art directors' last day. He's migrating to Maryland.
At this point, still December 12 but 9:14pm, I'm looking at the dates after November 24 and can't see or recall any memorable. The only thing very mind-boggling is how I've been exceeding my phone bill. That, and my long overdue Mary Poppins costume.
Back at it again on December 18, 7:16pm.
December 16: It was Christmas Toycon and me and my friends thought we'd do a Kris Kringle. It was great. Everyone was on-board and got what they wanted. It seems like all we really need is 3 to 4 hours to catch up.
It was still early, but we all had to say our goodbyes. After doing just that, I made my way to the friends I met during my stay in Metro Manila. I made it a point to meet up with them before going home for the holidays.
I arrive home at 2am, worked on a presentation until 4am, slept for what was probably less than two hours, and had a meeting at 10am, on December 17. Despite all that, it was worth it.
December 17-21: All hands on deck in the office. We've been going home late, OT-ing.
December 23, 2018 to January 3, 2019: Home. And that's how I hope to start every and all years of my life.
The way I see it, my 2018 has been a good balance of good and bad. I see all these events and stop to think: I really went through all that.
I look forward to seeing what events I can write and recall this 2019. I'm crossing my fingers for plenty of things this 2019, and when I say plenty, I don't just mean quantity. So being the paranoid, superstitious little thing that I am, I won't be sharing them so much. Only when the announcements have been made.
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